- Make the peanut butter sandwich/fish fingers/ order a pizza/ whatever you know you don’t have to slave over to make and they will eat without question
- Bring them into your bed if you need to. If they’re teething/in a sleep regression it’s only temporary, don’t worry about it. People who judge are welcome to babysit for a night.
- Take a cheeky nap. The washing/cleaning/whatever can wait. If you’re exhausted you need sleep.
- Let them watch ITNG/ Peppa bleeding Pig or whatever their favourite show is because you need to do the washing you neglected earlier because you needed a nap. We’d all like to limit screen time for our kids but it’s not the devil and sometimes it’s bloody useful.
- Go out. Sometimes a change is as good as a rest; the amount of times I took a screamy, grumpy Mia for a walk or to music class in spite of her mood and she turned into a different child are astonishing.
- Do nothing. This may seem contradictory to point 5, but you judge the situation. Sometimes cuddling on the sofa and watching Frozen is better than trying wrestle an angry child out of the house.
- Leave them. Steady on, I mean *with someone* and go for a night out/hair appointment/coffee/weekend/whatever it is you need alone.
- Ignore the advice (unless it’s medical!). Especially if it’s judgemental. If you feel like you’re losing on something don’t let others bring you down further; no one knows your child better than you.
Sometimes the best times are when it’s all going a bit wrong; we are all tired and grumpy or I feel ill or my teeth hurt. But those are the times I get my favourite foods, snuggles in bed with Mama, my favourite TV shows and cuddles on the sofa. It’s nice to hear the rain outside the windows and be all warm inside and comfy with some warm milk and a cartoon. Those are the times that I remember best, when I feel bad but Mama makes me feel better.
Here is an (extensively) abridged list of things I have worried about in relation to Mia in the past 18 months, I realise that some of these may look entirely ridiculous, some may even make you laugh. Some are things I have seriously pondered and taken to heart, others are things I considered for a fleeting second, but all are genuine thoughts that have occurred to me:
- Her being too small (she was 6lb 7oz)
- Not being able to breastfeed her and therefore; her immune system, her IQ, her weight, our bond (largely nonsense)
- Other people judging me for not being able to breastfeed
- Her drinking enough milk (she has a small appetite)
- Her hands being blue (just after birth)
- Her fists being constantly clenched (as a newborn)
- Baby acne
- That ridiculous breathing that newborns do
- Vaccinations (the symptoms afterwards)
- Her being too hot
- Being too cold
- Poop: going too frequently, too infrequently, the colour, the consistency; you name it, I worried about it.
- Sleeping too much
- Not sleeping enough
- Getting too big
- Not being big enough
- Her hair not growing enough
- Every temperature
- Every sniffle
- Teething (pain+nappy rash+dribble rash+not sleeping = worry!)
- Not rolling over (she never really cared for rolling)
- Rolling over (in her sleep)
- Not crawling (this was ‘a disaster’ score on her gross motor skills assessment at 10m, she crawled at 10m 4 days).
- Not speaking enough
- Speaking too much
- Not standing (now does)
- Not walking (still doesn’t)
- Not eating enough food.
- Not drinking enough water
- Drinking too much cow’s milk
- Having too much screen time
- Being on the autistic spectrum (specifically having SPD)
- Falling off things (mainly the bed)
- Not being a good enough Mama (see my last blog post ‘Dear Mama’)
A list of things that I worry about, it’s not that long, I’m a pretty chilled out kid:
- No more Peppa Pig
- There not being any toast
- Mama not coming back from the toilet
- Where Dada has gone
- Running out of milk
- The vacuum (I’m not worried about that anymore but I used to be)
- Having my hair combed
- Having my hair washed
- Having my nails cut
- That particular episode of Peppa with the purple dinosaur in it, that one is scary.
- Not being allowed outside
- The dark when no one is there
Mama would like to know what worries you’ve had about your children, no matter how ridiculous !